I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize