Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
