Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
