tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
