unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
