How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
