tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
