And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
