Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
