Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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