So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Randomize
