dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
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