it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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