For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
