North Korea, Best Korea!
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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