But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
