Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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