Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
