$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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