I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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