How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
