is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
