In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Hippo gnu deer
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
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