I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
