whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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