Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
