Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize