she was so not down for the gang bang
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Randomize
