i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
