I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
