Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
