idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize