Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
never play flip cup with pint glasses
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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