How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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