I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
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