im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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