that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize