I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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