I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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