I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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