He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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