I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
