I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
