My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
