we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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