So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
