i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
