I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Even my vagina gasped.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
