Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
i now understand why vodka
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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