yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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