Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
