We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
