There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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