i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
