My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Randomize
