Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
