No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
