I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
