We're facebook friends in real life
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize