Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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