NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
