Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
