i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize