I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
How external is "for external use only"?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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