its not stalking. its research.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
