look no pants
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
